Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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