I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
