You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
