I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
