He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
