your room smells of hookers.
And success
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
