actually, I'm a sock model
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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