you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
soo... how was my night?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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