You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
