How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
