even my farts smell like vagina
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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