your thong is hanging out like whoa
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
