What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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