Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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