the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
