yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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