Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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