I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
