ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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