I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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