so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize