Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
