u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
