i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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