Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
