I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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