I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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