I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
whose parrot is this?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
