I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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