I'm jealous of your bromance
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I smell like Dick and happiness
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