The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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