when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
