did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
