I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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