We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
