apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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