oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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