Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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