I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
