You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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