guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He uses pillows to masturbate.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
