Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
