he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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