dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
