"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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