K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
