It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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