dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
