Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
