Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
