so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
