I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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