I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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