masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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