***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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