I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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