i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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