awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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