I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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