you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
