He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
