guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
worst night to have a conscience
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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