Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Someone shattered a urinal.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
