I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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