dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize