It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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