just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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