singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize