bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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