That's intense
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
