party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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